FRANSBURG - Prior to the 2001 season,
owner Adam Franssen changed the team name from "Force" to "Banded Palm Civets"
in one of the most surprising turns of events in league history. Possibly
a large factor in that deal was a move out of the Death Star ("The Death Star kept getting destroyed by
those freakin' Rebels," complained Franssen. "They just wouldn't listen
when we told them it was only a football stadium now. Anyway, after
they blew it up for the second time in 'Jedi', I just said to hell with it.
It's not like we're any good anyway.") and into the new,
state of the art facility - B.P.C. Arena. However, after
two seasons of play, the Banded Palm Civet are a lowly
5-6-1 in their new home. We caught up with head coach Adam Franssen
to see what the deal was.
"So Adam, what's the deal with your 5-6-1 record in your new home?"
"Well, it's easy," said the main man in Fransburg, "we sucked ass in 2002.
Management made some bad decisions in the draft, and by some I mean
many, and we had to ride out a tough season. I mean, in 2001, we went
8-4 on the season, 4-2 at home, and then went 3-0 at home en route to the
LST championship. Things were looking good. But in oh-two we
were elbow deep in a bag of dicks."
"Um, that's a colourful way of saying you won the World's Worst Tournament."
"Right. I don't think that home field was ever really a factor -
we weren't good enough for it to make a difference. I mean, if you're
getting blown out week in and week out, the fans just aren't in a position
to change the game. Everything else we like. We like the transparent
roof, the gardeners like the natural grass surface and do a great job keeping
it in game shape, and the fans love how they're right on top of the action.
It's a great place to play."
"So what's the outlook for 2003?"
"Well, we're due. If you look at the history page, you can see the
rollercoaster that this franchise has been riding. Hopefully the front
office can put together a good draft and we can get the kind of players
in here that will take advantage of our tremendous facilities."
There you have it. The stadium is there and the ready to be utilized.
Can this team have a good draft and keep close enough so that the 2
home field points will matter? Can they? Well? What are
you, drunk? Answer the question! Christ, I'm outta here.
